its called intelligence for a reason

Burning outrage has been one familiar mood in Indian dressing rooms for around a week now. We have all been watching CNN IBN and NDTV instead of Kolangal, Maanaada Mayilada , Roadies and other such high IQ programs.
Much has been written about whatever has happened and I thought I will write something about what to do next instead of blaming home ministers and their second cousins.

a) There is no way we are going to convince eighteen year olds who have been soaked in Anti-India fervor since the time they were inside the womb, so those people who are speaking about peace, please take a one way ticket to somewhere like Switzerland.
We need to do something fast about POK where there are advanced courses and PHD offered in myriad fields of warfare. I understand they had used lakes to practice riding catamarans.

b)This is one thing that has puzzled me the most for a long time. I have read in Digital Fortress about the use of Stunt Guns to temporarily paralyze people. I guess its not TOO costly. I really cant fathom why its not used against terrorists
i)You can fire indiscriminately and not worry about injuring innocent people
11)You get live terrorists who can sing songs about where they came from and we can show the world the credibility of Pakistan's war on terror.
We use tranquilizers to catch wild animals like Elephants. The one reason they did not do that for Veerapan was I thought because some black specs uncles did not want him caught alive.

c)I guess Its called intelligence for a reason. (Yes I have managed to write the title somewhere)
But I have serious doubts about what RAW is upto. And I cant restrain myself to point out the ironical pun.
This organization is either too good that a reasonably well informed person like me doesnt even know what the recruitment procedure is or its just another wing of the screwed up Indian bureaucracy.
Its claimed they knew they were coming from the sea and might attack some star hotels.
But can we compare ourselves to a Mozzad or a CIA or an FBI? The US has 4 such agencies one each for a purpose.
I am sure RAW would have given many a false warning that the police would have not taken this one too seriously.

High time something serious was done or otherwise the "spirit of India" will just get used to living with bombs like we live with power cuts corruption and garbage.
Lets hope the value of our lives isn't a joke.

our true colors

Scene:Aussie team hangout
Time:sometime after the famous Sydney test.
The conversation leads to this and that and finally Gilly brings out his lappy to show his pals the soft copy of his proposed autobiography titled "nick and walk".

Phil:pretty short mate all of just fifty pages han?

Gilly:OH yea thats why I came to you guys, I want some stuff to swell the content to say 500 pages what do I write about? I ve written about the Aussie attitude, my walking about my life and all but still...

Matt:Hey have you written about the Indian team?

Gilly:Er.. no, I mean, how is it relevant?

Punter:Of course it is, we got aap(screwed) in CB series, and thanks to bucksie we could pull it off in the tests. Moreover writing bad things about them ll get you lot of attention. Seriously dude do you think people will be interested to know where you did your kindergarden?

Gilly:Mm your right, so give me some input.

Monkey: Isnt there a format for this? First we start with bajji in traditional style. Talk about the way they called me monkey?

G:Isnt that over? I mean everything is settled? We realised he said something else. Its not like we dont racially abuse or sledge?

Lee:How could you gilly? I was in the dressing room and I could hear Harbhajan saying monkey its so obvious. And I want to suggest a new concept. Also write about how Sachin was a liar and stuff like that. You can always apologise to him over phone later.

G:Ok nice idea, anything else?

Pup:buw buw!! you know I have a secret crush on Sachin right? And when I went to their dressing room he did not shake hands with me at all. In fact I couldnt even see him. I felt very sad.

Matt:Now how cruel is that?

G:ok fair point wait I will note it down.

Huss:Hey remember the previous series in India?

G:you did not even play?

Huss: yea ok ok listen I watched it on TV and my bro and me were drunk, and you know we were crapping about how Bajji Saurav were scared of the Nagpur test. Hey please please add that also?

G:Ah, what is this man? ok with all the shit...

Warnie:Hey, You are my friend right? Murali just went ahead of me, can you write about how he chucks? it makes me feel kinda nice.

G:Ah ok..

Chappel:Can i also suggest something?

G:yea go on greg.

Chappel:You know my brothers and me used to play cricket in our garden. Can you publish that story also?

G:Hey you think this is tinkle?

Chappel:No I thought it would be a nice story.

G:nono, greg havent you told this story too often?

Punter:I will never be your friend if you dont write about Ishant sharma.

G:oksomething about him also. Think of something bad and I will include it.

G:Ok my autobiography is ready :D
fifty pages about me cricket and all that
fifty pages on haribhajan
and hundred pages on rest of the Indian team.
I have also allocated some pages for pictures with Indian greats like Sachin.

White:Hey the title kinda sucks, keep something more racist no? something about color?

Punter:Water colors?
Matt: how is that relevant? dude we are writing logical stuff here ok?
new Unnamed spinner:True colors?
G:Yea thats cool, it gives a subtle message about our superiority. Its also about me in a way

Pigeon:Hey but at the end of the day we go there and beg for money so dont write any more crap. God hope they dont send us home.