background: An innocuous from Sudip Tyagi was spat out by the pitch as it reached eight feet. Sangakkara seemed to have had enough with something. The score 85/5 with all batsmen back in the pavilion, none of them because of the pitch.
Conversation
MSD,Sanga,ME-Marais Erasmus and SKT: Sk Tarapore.
Sanga runs in before the next ball is bowled.
SKT:U cant take Mendis' gage(turn to bat) because you play a little better.
Sanga:No, the Lankan lions want to speak to MSD, give me a minute
MSD:What is it? you want to waste time so I get banned for more matches?
Sanga:No,no, why is Ishant Sharma not there? I thought we agreed before the tournament that Ishant and Nehra will play every game? the Lankan Lions are not happy.
MSD:And we also agreed Jayawardane and Mendis will, why cant we just continue the game Sanga?
Sanga:Ah ok, listen I find this pitch too dangerous to bat on. The lankan lions' batsman are in danger.
MSD:hmm.. I wonder what you were doing till 23 overs were bowled, you didnt know that while you were batting? not till 5 wickets fell.
Sanga:Wait, see you saw the last wicket to fall. It was a run out. Samaraweera knew damn well Raina wouldnt hit, Raina just flicked it and it hit the stumps after an uneven bounce. Do you really think we should play here? Where Indians effect direct hits? i mean WTF?
MSD:Ok chill, listen I will bowl only my spin bowlers, and only Nehra and Zaheer will try throwing down stumps.
Sanga:Ok spin bowlers; only Nehra and Praveen and Jadeja can bowl.
MSD:Dont tease Nehra ass, see Praveen is not in the team, and together they have only 15 overs to bowl. Cant we bowl Harbhajan or Raina?
Sanga:No too fast for Lankan Lions, what about your bowling coach?He bowls really well?
MSD: no we kicked him out, listen you expect me to bowl Ventakesh Prasad and Nehra from 85/5 and win the match? Please be reasonable dude
ME:Ok, I will favor the person who can pronounce my name correctly.
Sanga:Maraisa Erasmusa?
Marais Erasmus:Am not a Srilankan, our names dont have to compulsarily end in A. Dhoni you try.
MSD:Marais Erasmus?
ME:Ah both of you are wrong. S is silent in Marais Dhoni.
SKT:hey lets come to a decision
MSD:You dont speak, you could have got me unbanned, I ll make them make u umpire in a match in pak, if you give wrong decision, they ll cut your hand
Sehwag:Hey Dhoni, I have an idea, I will pray that this match is abandoned, then the match ll actually happen
MSD:Aaah, so what is the conclusion now Sanga?
Sanga:See if we were 82/2 we will continue, but 5 wickets is too much, and we have a valid excuse, and I would like to cash in.
MSD:I am sorry am saying this but, I can totally understand why Pakistan team did what they did to you.. anyway meet you in Bangladesh, atleast there will be a competitive team there.
PS:Seriously, they could have played some unofficial t20 match just for spectators sake with just spinners or something.. it was not like there were wide cracks where players will fall in.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
its all been written down...
Duru was super pissed off. He had just learnt from the learned men the cause of such bad things happening in his life.
A couple of people, one of them his own grandfather, was writing everything down, literally controlling the proceedings.
Shaking with rage he stormed into the forest where the two of them were at their work.
"Wtf are you people doing?" asked Duru, "how can you script and control my life?
How can you write your own story? what kind of causality is this?"
Vyasa, suppressing a giggle looked at Ganesha who had been his able scribe for many a day.
Said Ganesha "We are just having a little fun ok? Being immortal is omg boring ok? This one time we could control stuff instead of Brahma and we took the best use of it ok?"
"At what cost?", Bellowed Duru. "Seriously man, I never wanted to be a baddie, agreed I was kind of greedy etc but most of the time it was like stuff happening by themselves. If everything is written down, whats the role of me? Am I supposed to make any decisions? The more I think about it, the more f-ed up i feel"
"Just chill", said Vyasa, "lifes not that bad ok? Imagine if we made you share your wife with 99 other people? you get to enjoy your prime in the palace and as king. And predictably you get screwed in the end by which time Pandavas are anyway old. Shouldn't you be happy?"
"But why all this war? Why should I try to disrobe another woman? why should I kill my own cousins?"
"see in order to teach values, there has to be a bad person ok? it cant be helped, why dont you go back and plot something wicked ok?"
"But if everything is pre-determined whats the point of everything? Is there any concept of charting your own course? This religion sucks"
"I think hes speaking too much, lets show him some pain", observed the wise Vyasa.
"Oh yeah? you want me to show you pain?" asked Duru, as he raised his mace to strike a blow on Ganesha
"U never understand do you?" said Vyasa, "Your part and parcel of Mahabharata, couldnt you figure out that this was also written?"
"And since Duru got provoked and misbehaved we have reason to screw him now ok?,
you were supposed to become a nice guy in the end and everyone lives happily ever after."
"Hey Vyas I got a really sexy climax ok?"
"Duru becomes a W.Indies cricket player?" quipped Vyasa."Or Himesh?"
"lol no no something more wicked. Duru is reborn as Sarkosy ok?"
"Dude please man, I quit I ll just go away now, and do what you want and go on and screw me", said Duru.
"aww, cry baby, k we ll remove this episode from the big story, you shall never know you are being "written"".
As Duru disappeared into thin air and teleported back to his mama's house,
Ganesha refilled the Ink in his tusk and opened a packet of little hearts biscuit.
"This is helluva fun ok?"
A couple of people, one of them his own grandfather, was writing everything down, literally controlling the proceedings.
Shaking with rage he stormed into the forest where the two of them were at their work.
"Wtf are you people doing?" asked Duru, "how can you script and control my life?
How can you write your own story? what kind of causality is this?"
Vyasa, suppressing a giggle looked at Ganesha who had been his able scribe for many a day.
Said Ganesha "We are just having a little fun ok? Being immortal is omg boring ok? This one time we could control stuff instead of Brahma and we took the best use of it ok?"
"At what cost?", Bellowed Duru. "Seriously man, I never wanted to be a baddie, agreed I was kind of greedy etc but most of the time it was like stuff happening by themselves. If everything is written down, whats the role of me? Am I supposed to make any decisions? The more I think about it, the more f-ed up i feel"
"Just chill", said Vyasa, "lifes not that bad ok? Imagine if we made you share your wife with 99 other people? you get to enjoy your prime in the palace and as king. And predictably you get screwed in the end by which time Pandavas are anyway old. Shouldn't you be happy?"
"But why all this war? Why should I try to disrobe another woman? why should I kill my own cousins?"
"see in order to teach values, there has to be a bad person ok? it cant be helped, why dont you go back and plot something wicked ok?"
"But if everything is pre-determined whats the point of everything? Is there any concept of charting your own course? This religion sucks"
"I think hes speaking too much, lets show him some pain", observed the wise Vyasa.
"Oh yeah? you want me to show you pain?" asked Duru, as he raised his mace to strike a blow on Ganesha
"U never understand do you?" said Vyasa, "Your part and parcel of Mahabharata, couldnt you figure out that this was also written?"
"And since Duru got provoked and misbehaved we have reason to screw him now ok?,
you were supposed to become a nice guy in the end and everyone lives happily ever after."
"Hey Vyas I got a really sexy climax ok?"
"Duru becomes a W.Indies cricket player?" quipped Vyasa."Or Himesh?"
"lol no no something more wicked. Duru is reborn as Sarkosy ok?"
"Dude please man, I quit I ll just go away now, and do what you want and go on and screw me", said Duru.
"aww, cry baby, k we ll remove this episode from the big story, you shall never know you are being "written"".
As Duru disappeared into thin air and teleported back to his mama's house,
Ganesha refilled the Ink in his tusk and opened a packet of little hearts biscuit.
"This is helluva fun ok?"
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Startling news
The budding times of india team along with India tv has uncovered yet another startling truth. A.R.Rahman is Waheeda Rehman's son.
YES you are reading it right. There is the resemblance and there is the common surname.
A little digging deep by the reputed Times of India team (that is us) has led to the following freaking facts:
1)1991: The year Waheeda Rehman took a break from movies, A.R.Rahman came into movies. Coincidence?
2)Her come back movie Water had guess who had the music director?
3)Her most critically aclaimed movies where she gives her best have been Rang De Basanti and Delhi 6
4)They both have same surname.. It is a great deception that she she thought she could get off with it just by changing an "e" to an "a"
5)A.R.Rahmans speech about his mother. Was he yearning for unrequited love?
You be the judge, and TOI is proud to say it has successfully tarnished the image of yet another hero of the Indian soil.
Kudos Kudos to TOI team
YES you are reading it right. There is the resemblance and there is the common surname.
A little digging deep by the reputed Times of India team (that is us) has led to the following freaking facts:
1)1991: The year Waheeda Rehman took a break from movies, A.R.Rahman came into movies. Coincidence?
2)Her come back movie Water had guess who had the music director?
3)Her most critically aclaimed movies where she gives her best have been Rang De Basanti and Delhi 6
4)They both have same surname.. It is a great deception that she she thought she could get off with it just by changing an "e" to an "a"
5)A.R.Rahmans speech about his mother. Was he yearning for unrequited love?
You be the judge, and TOI is proud to say it has successfully tarnished the image of yet another hero of the Indian soil.
Kudos Kudos to TOI team
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Kalpakkam
a wise man, an old man was walking down a lonely path through the woods when he met a wise owl around a 100 years of age he asked the owl "oh old wise one whose seen the length and breadth of this great earth, what is worse than staying at kalpakkam?"the owl winked his great round eyes and replied in a deep voice "sitting in a desert with no water and just a male camel for a companion", To which old man asked " that is sadder in deed but whats more sad than that?"
The owl raised his huge wings flapped them with great force and as he flew away
whispered "Kalpakkam".
The owl raised his huge wings flapped them with great force and as he flew away
whispered "Kalpakkam".
Saturday, May 30, 2009
chemicals & fertilizer
Bringing you the word to word of what happened in the press meet organized by the new chemicals and fertilizer minister.
Honorable minister : AG
press persons : P
Maran : M
P:Hello mister AG. Congrats on getting the coveted cabinet ministership.
AG: I not education much. Still you all call bad word I easy understand. I have fat wood logs to hit everyone.
Maran: (translates what they actually said in Tamil)
AG:Oh sorry very thank you.
Maran:As Mr.Ag cant talk loudly today I will act as his mouthpiece.
P:Sir, do you think you are qualified enough to be a minister?
Maran (4 AG): I have lived life with chemicals be it ethanol or TNT. You might have heard the PM saying the cabinet has been chosen on merit. He meant my case more than anyone else's.
P:What do you plan to do in next five years?
Maran reluctantly (4 AG): Er.. He plans to ask for tamil being "super" classical language status. Also 1 rupee fertilizers and fertilizers in fancy colors to encourage farmers to use them.
P:But sir, tamil and chemicals? what is the connection?
Maran:If you go back to the ramayana, it is written that Lord Sri Rama had used chemical weapons to bring rain and even make the whole ocean dry up. In fact he possesed atomic weapons. All this happened in tamil nadu -- srilanka border.
P:Its the best ever analysis we have ever seen. Anyway, we thought Rama did not exist? He suddenly does?
Maran:No he does not exist when we are talking about the sethusamudram project. Do not confuse.
AG:All questions finished. Good minister me. India number one in chemical under me.
Honorable minister : AG
press persons : P
Maran : M
P:Hello mister AG. Congrats on getting the coveted cabinet ministership.
AG: I not education much. Still you all call bad word I easy understand. I have fat wood logs to hit everyone.
Maran: (translates what they actually said in Tamil)
AG:Oh sorry very thank you.
Maran:As Mr.Ag cant talk loudly today I will act as his mouthpiece.
P:Sir, do you think you are qualified enough to be a minister?
Maran (4 AG): I have lived life with chemicals be it ethanol or TNT. You might have heard the PM saying the cabinet has been chosen on merit. He meant my case more than anyone else's.
P:What do you plan to do in next five years?
Maran reluctantly (4 AG): Er.. He plans to ask for tamil being "super" classical language status. Also 1 rupee fertilizers and fertilizers in fancy colors to encourage farmers to use them.
P:But sir, tamil and chemicals? what is the connection?
Maran:If you go back to the ramayana, it is written that Lord Sri Rama had used chemical weapons to bring rain and even make the whole ocean dry up. In fact he possesed atomic weapons. All this happened in tamil nadu -- srilanka border.
P:Its the best ever analysis we have ever seen. Anyway, we thought Rama did not exist? He suddenly does?
Maran:No he does not exist when we are talking about the sethusamudram project. Do not confuse.
AG:All questions finished. Good minister me. India number one in chemical under me.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
oh so average
STORY:
Frankly speaking, no one would want to write my story, because nothing really happened. I have never been the hero in anything except of course the story am writing now. My moment of glory.
Except, once upon a time when I was born, youngest of three, to two not so ordinary people. Ambition should have run in my blood. They were extremely good-looking people and pretty successful in their fields, the specifics of which don't concern us right now. I probably was born with the wrong mixture of the genes, making me look average and not very bright.
Ah, the point is I was not great at anything, not even writing this story.
After the age of three, all the doubts about my IQ vanished and my capabilities or the lack of it were quite clear. I was not great in acads nor in sports and its obvious I wasnt great with girls either.
Naturally I screwed up a lot, much to the embarrassment of my dad and mum. It was not like I didnt try.
They said I didnt aim high, that I operated within my limitations and was content with a B- when my siblings managed an easy A or A-.
This trend obviously continued through my life, not going that extra mile, not wresting opportunities, you might think I was lazy, but it was a mixture of resigning to fate and a lack of love of big things I would say. ~You will never understand~
I of course got married and it is ridiculous on your part if you thought she would understand me. She didnt. My kids didnt, but thankfully the so called Indian heritage helped me keep my marriage intact.
You might think am a loser, leading a depressed lonely life. Well, thats miles away from the truth.
My brother and sis, my kids,my wife party, roam around the world, meet loads of people and are supposed to be enjoying their life. You would also be someone like that. They celebrate power.
I am just happy being happy, celebrate every other passing day, I so live life and guess what, am never sad.
Frankly speaking, no one would want to write my story, because nothing really happened. I have never been the hero in anything except of course the story am writing now. My moment of glory.
Except, once upon a time when I was born, youngest of three, to two not so ordinary people. Ambition should have run in my blood. They were extremely good-looking people and pretty successful in their fields, the specifics of which don't concern us right now. I probably was born with the wrong mixture of the genes, making me look average and not very bright.
Ah, the point is I was not great at anything, not even writing this story.
After the age of three, all the doubts about my IQ vanished and my capabilities or the lack of it were quite clear. I was not great in acads nor in sports and its obvious I wasnt great with girls either.
Naturally I screwed up a lot, much to the embarrassment of my dad and mum. It was not like I didnt try.
They said I didnt aim high, that I operated within my limitations and was content with a B- when my siblings managed an easy A or A-.
This trend obviously continued through my life, not going that extra mile, not wresting opportunities, you might think I was lazy, but it was a mixture of resigning to fate and a lack of love of big things I would say. ~You will never understand~
I of course got married and it is ridiculous on your part if you thought she would understand me. She didnt. My kids didnt, but thankfully the so called Indian heritage helped me keep my marriage intact.
You might think am a loser, leading a depressed lonely life. Well, thats miles away from the truth.
My brother and sis, my kids,my wife party, roam around the world, meet loads of people and are supposed to be enjoying their life. You would also be someone like that. They celebrate power.
I am just happy being happy, celebrate every other passing day, I so live life and guess what, am never sad.
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