Saturday, December 11, 2010

Danny Ocean Part V: what the fuck is happening?

Danny was on the boil.
How could a vegetable oil bus just push off like that?
He had gone back to get some oil, and the bus was gone.
Irrelevant character introduction alert!
He turned to see Walkit walking towards him. She had a copy of twilight with a highlight marker. Could the day just turn worse?
Danny tried to hide, but where? Under the snow?
She walked straight to him and said, "you have got mail Danny".
She was now incharge of mail in Chapin and had slowly started inventing her own mails.
"Acha so I ordered twilight and a highlighter?", "Yes Danny", said Walkit. "If you want ask this tree, he works with me in the mailroom and hes my new best friend" as she pointed to a nearby tree. "Hes really funny and I love spending time with this tree".

"Thats pretty cool" said Danny, "thanks for your thoughtful mail, suitable for men. Just wondering, are you sure this is a male tree?"
He left Walkit wondering if she had by mistake made friends with a female(tree).
I will tell you someday why Walkit hates women. This story after all, is about her old best friend, Danny Ocean.
Danny crossed the road to walk towards SAC, he had practice doing that because the buses never came in time anyway. Drivers would prefer going round and round south P but made a big fuss about waiting that extra 10 seconds to take you to an important class. This was not India where drivers are disobedient(read sensible). Invariably he had walked the 20 minutes to college every other day.

The beauty about walking in aweful subzero temperature is this. Its painful for the first 10 minutes. After that you dont feel a damn thing. You might never will but as they say, the mission was important.
Danny walked thru the Hospital, whose downward going escalator alone was running. There was a photo of Sarah Palin in the main lobby, so Danny did not bother to question the absence of logic in the damn place. If he took the pains to do it, he would have wondered aloud about why Stony Brook needed such a massive Hospital complete with an airstrip. Apparently this building had inspired Ambani to build his grotesque Antilia to take revenge on Mumbai Indians and everyone else who lived outside mumbai(like biharis). Whoever had the misfortune of seeing the medusa like structure went back to Bihar which made people think this was actually MNS which had built this.

Harry you digress somuch yelled Danny to me, I need to continue on my mission.
And so he did... There were happy looking people outside the CS building.. hmm weird.
there were men outside bioengineering.. was he feeling fine?.. and finally SAC had the freaking green bus just pulling up near the bus stop. But the Inner loop bus stop.

There is no Innerloop bus during holidays, nor is there a green bus at these troubled times, when you dont even get vegetable.

He stormed to the bus and heard the driver say, " use the back door please".
Did he hear it right? No student had ever been allowed to enter thru the back door of a bus. Drivers used to get unusually possessive about you entering their virgin bus behind their back.
Here was someone telling him to do just that. Danny raced in thru the back door before the driver could change his mind. He was gonna be the first one to ever do it. There was a reason why it was forbidden. When you tell Pandora dont open the box, what does she do?

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Danny ocean -- part 4

ah, ku kux clan. cmon there was no 4th kkk everyone knows that
Thats why it was called the "secret" ku kux clan!
Let me continue. 1982 was the year Sarah Jessica Parker started acting. The world would not be the same again. Her posters were all over stony brook and even the gods seemed to be angry that she pretended she was gorgeous.
"Can I use your bathroom?" asked Danny. The juice seems to be bothering me.
Ofcourse said Chen. One of them doesnt have heat. So you might want to wear your sweater.
Danny rushed to the toilet locked himself up. He needed time to think. WTF was all this bullshit she was saying? it seemed to be so contrived and convoluted. Could it be true?
He had had enough. He opened the door and in one fluid motion ran out of the apartment into the blizzard. It was white all around, he wanted cry because it was so freaking cold he couldnt even feel his privates, he wanted to smile because it reminded him of a robert 'frost' poem he had read in gay men anonymous.
There was no time to decide whether to smile or cry though. He needed to do it. and do it he would.
He raced of in the general direction of Chapin Commons. He would take a left and catch the Chapin bus.
There was a torture session going on in the Commons. Every two weeks, people got together and in the name of lecture, performed untellable cruelty on Chapin residents gullible enough to attend the lecture for pizza. What pleasure they got in this noone knew, but people from developing nations who fell for pizza were tricked into this.
He loved pizza. But no time for that now. He ran past the common room window play, and caught a glimpse of some of his friends crying.

Chapin Bus Stop. Bus in 15 minutes(supposedly). He glanced at the posters stuck there. Landlord prefers the Asians! 10 sqr feet room in Port Jeff. 5 ppl can start comfortably. Chinese preferred. the rest was in mandarin anyway.
After what seemed an eternity, the Green bus as against the normal red one arrived.
It was painfully slow and labored to a stop almost outside chapin entrance instead of the bus stop. Danny could almost hear fate giggling. He ran to the bus. Agony is bad in the beginning, then you get used to it!
Just as he was about to enter, the driver said, "You cant board this bus"
Why not?
"Cause this bus runs on vegetable oil".
I love vegetable oil.
"even I do but thats the problem. Apparently a third guy seems to love it more than us. Someone stole all the packets last night. and theres no more oil left".
I have some left in my room said Danny, and raced off to fetch the oil. Life was so pathetic, it had become funny!
---to be continued