this is probably the first semi technical entry am writing and is incidentally the first time am publishing something i found out. (ok i have not found out lot of things still...)
As everyone by now knows there are no girls in my college so I was just consoling myself saying I will most probably going to France(yes EVA GREENE lives there) the next year or the year after that.
Just when I was feeling so euphoric about this a thought struck me. What if I die before this?
Sheesh I would die a virgin I would die without kids, I would die single and even without watching the third IPL.
I sat down and tried calculating the probability I would survive this mishap. The sheer monstrosity of the numbers shook me and make me rethink my priorities.
What is the chance I will survive a day in Chennai?
factors considered:
1)I live in the coastal town of Chennai hence vulnerable to Tsunami and Sea surging due to global warming.
2)I play soccer with great enthusiasm and combined with the pleasant climate of chennai might hence cause death due to sun stroke.
3)I live in CMI where food is bad and(mosquitoes) hence I might contract a lot of diseases like cancer, TB, dengue, SARS, i have started eating eggs hence i can get killed due to bird flu :(
4)Am in a college known for its rigorous curriculum and am a normal teenager so there are these oodles of opportunities to fall into depression
5)I drive my bike like crazy and i also live in T.Nagar where the devil dare not drive.
6)I support Indian team in hockey and Federar on clay and Real Madrid for Champion's league
7)
Wait lets stop here and evaluate,
Data:
5)1150 deaths in a year in chennai. Population of chennai 4.7 million of which only 25 lakh drive 2 wheelers. in there 25 lakhs only about 1% 25,000 people drive as crazy as me.
hence probability i ll die of an accident is 4/365=0.01%
2)sunstroke deaths negligible
3)death due to various medical ailments: 1,60,000 a year in tamil nadu. Implies probability is 0.005%
4)suicide rate among teenagers 148 among 1 million probability is 0.0001
adding all this gives 0.0151 is the probability i will die on a particular day. How rosy?
So the probability i will survive a day is 100-0.0151=99.9849
the probability i will survive 2 years = probability i will survive 730 days
=99.9849^730=89%
there is a 11% chance i will die!!!!!
in 10 years it increases to 43% and in 20 years 73% OH MY GOD
I dont drink nor smoke, i dont have sex and this staggering number.
There is one in a tenth chance i wont graduate. Do you even realise what it means? I would have never experienced college life like a normal teenager, agreed i would have watched a lot more movies, interacted with a lot more bongs, I will know hell lot more physics. But I would be dead.
But wait a minute I have been alive for 20 years which is a miracle by itself. So have many of my friends. Anyways am not THAT depressed because with or without driving crazy bikes, theres a goood chance ur gonna DIE.
Numbers or no numbers, our lives our such we don't know when it will end. Live life when you can have a lotta fun ;) live it like it was your last day on earth ;)
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
MAX's efforts in vain as IPL is a HYUGE hit
Most of you cricket crazy people have been following IPL and have of course had your moments of joy and sorrow. Its been real fun watching the games. But there's one little thing am very upset about. Its the coverage by SET MAX.
The Hindi movie broadcaster have OUTRIGHTLY sucked ever since they ventured into telecasting matches. In their formative years being so desperate and failing to match ESPN Star's (ES) expertise they stooped down to the levels of bringing the legendary Mandira Bedi to ask questions like "What is a Doosra? Will India win today? and many such things that reminded you of Tamil movie heroines' dialogues. But you could probably give it to her for being so hot at the age of 78 but it was clearly irritating to watch Charu Sharma drooling rather than presenting a cricket show.
Just when I thought I had seen the last of these bufoons comes MAX, that too to host IPL. Although they managed to steal some good commentators from ES, they still suck as much as NEO sports does.
There are different aspects to their suckiness
1) having ranjit fernando and aamir sohail.
now, I don't really know how MR. RF gets these assignments. Maybe he plays the sympathy card. I heard there is some reservation for tsunami hit countries and RF being the only guy who knows good English in the island nation
I ve hated RF right from my childhood because of the stupid shit he speaks on air. It changed to total hatred the night of the match between Bangladesh and India in the 2007 world cup. I along with millions of indians was matching the match with great agony. India was tottering with Bangladesh chasing so comfortably when RF failing to contain his amusement said "India is sorely missing someone in the likes of Chaminda Vaas or Maharoof". Yes you moron there are no better bowlers than Maharoof and stop speaking about srilanka when its TOTALLY irrelevant.
I also hate the way he pronounces "deliveries" sounds like "DAHLLIWORRIES" he keeps saying it all the time. :(( . His most useful insights into the game include
"the gameplan of this partnership is to score runs in quick time without getting out" woooow isnt that a totally creative thing to say?
kapugedara sucking big time with the bat "very promising batsman hes doing his job so beautifully in the centre" yes dude you are a srilankan but please speak some sense once in a while?
"if Chennai bats well, you never know they can win this game" i have no comments for this
"Joginder Sharma is such an experienced campaigner"
i ve forgotten many others which were probably a lot more insightful nevertheless...
i thought of some innovative stuff to stay on air myself:
"Jayasuriya Murali and jayawardene rock"
"sangakkara rocks"
"chandrika kumaratunga rocks"
"if it rains too much there is a chance the match might be abandoned due to rain"
"orange cap is orange in color"
Coming to Aamir sohail he has serious problems with his pronounciation. He says Sahwag Dallli (delhi)
Today he said Sangwan is an experienced campaigner..dude he is 17 and has played 5 matches.
One of these days they did a Doordarshan by screwing up their telecast as a result the match couldnt start. Ever heard of "match delayed due to stupid tv guys?"
Yesterday riya sen came to the studio during the ten minute break. 2 minutes ad 3 minutes the anchor who's paid max for presenting the show 5 minutes arun lal explaining the nuances of kolkattas wicket. I could see riya's face for 10 seconds :( really PISSES ME OFF :( :(
The cameras are another eye sore. Bad and CRAZY angles making me feel its better to watch from the ground. I dont seriously know how they manage such weird angles which are pretty much unheard of on television.
No Activesports so i cant catch up if i was out on a date or if my grandparents insisted on watching Kolangal serial.
And yea the worst is
these commentators saying "That is a DLF six" or "CITI moment of success"
Please give it back to EspnStar we want to watch some intelligent cricket. A humble request from a true cricket lover.
The Hindi movie broadcaster have OUTRIGHTLY sucked ever since they ventured into telecasting matches. In their formative years being so desperate and failing to match ESPN Star's (ES) expertise they stooped down to the levels of bringing the legendary Mandira Bedi to ask questions like "What is a Doosra? Will India win today? and many such things that reminded you of Tamil movie heroines' dialogues. But you could probably give it to her for being so hot at the age of 78 but it was clearly irritating to watch Charu Sharma drooling rather than presenting a cricket show.
Just when I thought I had seen the last of these bufoons comes MAX, that too to host IPL. Although they managed to steal some good commentators from ES, they still suck as much as NEO sports does.
There are different aspects to their suckiness
1) having ranjit fernando and aamir sohail.
now, I don't really know how MR. RF gets these assignments. Maybe he plays the sympathy card. I heard there is some reservation for tsunami hit countries and RF being the only guy who knows good English in the island nation
I ve hated RF right from my childhood because of the stupid shit he speaks on air. It changed to total hatred the night of the match between Bangladesh and India in the 2007 world cup. I along with millions of indians was matching the match with great agony. India was tottering with Bangladesh chasing so comfortably when RF failing to contain his amusement said "India is sorely missing someone in the likes of Chaminda Vaas or Maharoof". Yes you moron there are no better bowlers than Maharoof and stop speaking about srilanka when its TOTALLY irrelevant.
I also hate the way he pronounces "deliveries" sounds like "DAHLLIWORRIES" he keeps saying it all the time. :(( . His most useful insights into the game include
"the gameplan of this partnership is to score runs in quick time without getting out" woooow isnt that a totally creative thing to say?
kapugedara sucking big time with the bat "very promising batsman hes doing his job so beautifully in the centre" yes dude you are a srilankan but please speak some sense once in a while?
"if Chennai bats well, you never know they can win this game" i have no comments for this
"Joginder Sharma is such an experienced campaigner"
i ve forgotten many others which were probably a lot more insightful nevertheless...
i thought of some innovative stuff to stay on air myself:
"Jayasuriya Murali and jayawardene rock"
"sangakkara rocks"
"chandrika kumaratunga rocks"
"if it rains too much there is a chance the match might be abandoned due to rain"
"orange cap is orange in color"
Coming to Aamir sohail he has serious problems with his pronounciation. He says Sahwag Dallli (delhi)
Today he said Sangwan is an experienced campaigner..dude he is 17 and has played 5 matches.
One of these days they did a Doordarshan by screwing up their telecast as a result the match couldnt start. Ever heard of "match delayed due to stupid tv guys?"
Yesterday riya sen came to the studio during the ten minute break. 2 minutes ad 3 minutes the anchor who's paid max for presenting the show 5 minutes arun lal explaining the nuances of kolkattas wicket. I could see riya's face for 10 seconds :( really PISSES ME OFF :( :(
The cameras are another eye sore. Bad and CRAZY angles making me feel its better to watch from the ground. I dont seriously know how they manage such weird angles which are pretty much unheard of on television.
No Activesports so i cant catch up if i was out on a date or if my grandparents insisted on watching Kolangal serial.
And yea the worst is
these commentators saying "That is a DLF six" or "CITI moment of success"
Please give it back to EspnStar we want to watch some intelligent cricket. A humble request from a true cricket lover.
Friday, April 25, 2008
see em eye
It actually stands for College only for Men in India and is often mistaken to stand for something associated with mathematics. It gained independence in 1998 and is now fooling around on its own. Other achievements include building a beautiful monument in the great Indian desert in interior Tamil Nadu which is yet to get the boon of electricity. By this the institution has achieved what no one else could achieve- provide employment opportunities to so many drivers, cleaners, and help rake in handsome profits to the highways authority of india. Needless to say added perks for working in this college include joyful rides on the ECR and OMR everyday (wowwy) and massaging rides on the roads of Siruseri (some people again wrongly think these roads were ploughed and are ready for irrigation). In fact the Indian government is planning to introduce camels to add to the fleet of dogs and the crowd of cats and snakes here and very soon Siruseri national park will be commisioned under the auspices of APA, a reputed astro-zoologist.
I shall not comment on bongs who plague cmi (duh i need to live peacefully for the next two years) or the nutritive food got here. No its slightly better than in the sahara where they live on date palms and camel milk. We even have mineral water.
People here are of different shapes and sizes. Contrary to expectations a lot many are not geeky and many play soccer and cricket. But a few of them have lost it because of 8-9 years in the sulky environment and go the extent of using veet on their hands, growing long hair and complaining about losing screwdrivers and the smell of mosquito coil. Many think these people are gay but this is so not true.
Popular pastimes include watching Shawshank redemption and loving it, watchin pulp fiction and drooling over samuel jackson, using seminar halls for educative movies during weekends and complaining about food. Downloading movies and deleting them is the in thing nowadays. People also often go into hallucinations about non existent chicks.
People bathe everyday and dress smart. People are honest and never copy in exams, no one watches pornography.
well i can go on poking fun..BUT
however much we whine about it CMI is still close to our heart we love our college we adore the management, to put it frankly theres no other place thats half as good as our beloved....muah
I shall not comment on bongs who plague cmi (duh i need to live peacefully for the next two years) or the nutritive food got here. No its slightly better than in the sahara where they live on date palms and camel milk. We even have mineral water.
People here are of different shapes and sizes. Contrary to expectations a lot many are not geeky and many play soccer and cricket. But a few of them have lost it because of 8-9 years in the sulky environment and go the extent of using veet on their hands, growing long hair and complaining about losing screwdrivers and the smell of mosquito coil. Many think these people are gay but this is so not true.
Popular pastimes include watching Shawshank redemption and loving it, watchin pulp fiction and drooling over samuel jackson, using seminar halls for educative movies during weekends and complaining about food. Downloading movies and deleting them is the in thing nowadays. People also often go into hallucinations about non existent chicks.
People bathe everyday and dress smart. People are honest and never copy in exams, no one watches pornography.
well i can go on poking fun..BUT
however much we whine about it CMI is still close to our heart we love our college we adore the management, to put it frankly theres no other place thats half as good as our beloved....muah
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
krishna krishna
I had been to this place called Guruvayur in Kerala with my family. Beautiful temple. Cleanliness personified. This was my third trip to Kerala but probably the first at the right age at the right place.yes yes coming to it.. I just LOVED spending time at the temple. Long queue for darshan how exciting. i told my bewildered people i will spend the waiting time in circumambulating the temple. I woulda gone around lord krishna about 20 times. OMG CHICKS GALORE... kerala rocks pa seriously. asins and nayantharas and padmapriyas at every turn. that too.. that off-white sari with red/green blouses. --drools--mum felt so happy that krishna had brought about a reformation in her agnostic kid(i woke up at 1 in the night bathed and went for the second dharshan) i felt a little guilty but da god was after all Krishna...we have a lot of things in common.
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