chemicals & fertilizer

Bringing you the word to word of what happened in the press meet organized by the new chemicals and fertilizer minister.

Honorable minister : AG
press persons : P
Maran : M

P:Hello mister AG. Congrats on getting the coveted cabinet ministership.
AG: I not education much. Still you all call bad word I easy understand. I have fat wood logs to hit everyone.
Maran: (translates what they actually said in Tamil)
AG:Oh sorry very thank you.
Maran:As Mr.Ag cant talk loudly today I will act as his mouthpiece.

P:Sir, do you think you are qualified enough to be a minister?
Maran (4 AG): I have lived life with chemicals be it ethanol or TNT. You might have heard the PM saying the cabinet has been chosen on merit. He meant my case more than anyone else's.

P:What do you plan to do in next five years?
Maran reluctantly (4 AG): Er.. He plans to ask for tamil being "super" classical language status. Also 1 rupee fertilizers and fertilizers in fancy colors to encourage farmers to use them.

P:But sir, tamil and chemicals? what is the connection?
Maran:If you go back to the ramayana, it is written that Lord Sri Rama had used chemical weapons to bring rain and even make the whole ocean dry up. In fact he possesed atomic weapons. All this happened in tamil nadu -- srilanka border.

P:Its the best ever analysis we have ever seen. Anyway, we thought Rama did not exist? He suddenly does?
Maran:No he does not exist when we are talking about the sethusamudram project. Do not confuse.

AG:All questions finished. Good minister me. India number one in chemical under me.